“Holy water on the brain and I’m losing sleep, Holy Bible on the nightstand next to me.”-Soundgarden
When I first agreed to do the episode of Paranormal Witness, I had no idea it would make such an impact on my life. I thought it was just an hour TV show, they would air it around Halloween and it would all be over. Boy, was I wrong. It’s 2 years later and they keep showing it. Instead of this story fading away, it seems to keep growing. I get emails, calls and personal visits from people who have ideas for TV shows, books, movies and some other new insanely humiliating ideas that I wouldn’t do for a billion dollars. Some are completely ridiculous, and other offers I’m considering. At least, I think I am.
You see, my family cannot keep living this nightmare over and over again. Okay, so my husband loves the publicity it brings to our antique shop. Me? Not so much, simply because I cannot tell this story over and over again and still heal from the incident. There is so much more than what they showed on Paranormal Witness. My story involves an exorcism. My exorcism. An exorcism I did not ask for, nor do I feel was necessary, because I was NOT demon possessed. Yet it was physically and emotionally painful, and left me scarred for life. We were suffering from a haunting that, with the research and help of Haunted Travels of MI, was eventually explained. In my desperation to make the haunting stop, I allowed a “holy”man into my house to cleanse it. In return got an ambush exorcism, complete with a holy water spiked refreshment. The details of that night from my point of view will eventually be revealed. In the meantime, my son and I need to heal.
I’ve made major mistakes. Dabbling in the dark arts, practicing witchcraft resulted in my conjuring up something that will most likely never leave. I gave up all that childish junk, went back to church, got baptized and was forgiven. But clearly, once you open the door to the other side, it seems impossible to shut. What started out as “kid stuff” turned out to be the nightmare of a lifetime.
Many tell me that by going on television and being so public with this story, or part of it anyway, automatically takes away my rights to privacy. I told this story to Raw TV. I sat in a chair under hot lights for hours telling it. Do I really have to keep explaining it over and over and over? Being asked to divulge this story every time I walk into our shop is like ripping open a wound again and again. Those of you who have read the entire story know that it’s not a simple story to tell. It spins around and around like a spiderweb. It’s goes on and on, and it’s still not over.
I do kind of understand what people mean when they tell me that by going public with this I lost certain rights to some privacy. But come on. Don’t we have the right to heal? Don’t we have the right to live in our home without crazies looking in our windows? (As if the ghosts aren’t enough.) I allowed this story to be told to free the spirit of a young girl. Not so others could profit from the misery of my family. Not so others could get a cheap thrill of visiting a haunted antique shop. Not so nosy neighbors could peek in. (I met a neighbor who just boldly stated that she peeked in our front window and really admired our sunken living room.) And certainly not to be given the 3rd degree by complete strangers.
There is a big festival going on in our small town during the weekends this December. I’ve been helping out for the holidays. Hundreds, possibly thousands of tourists visit our small little community to celebrate the stories of Charles Dickens. It should be a wonderful prosperous time for me and my family. Instead, I spend my time having to explain the “Lady on the Stairs.” I had a meltdown this afternoon and ripped down all the advertising we had up regarding the story. The “As Seen On” and “As Featured In” posters are all in the trash. I’ll tell this entire story in my own time, in my own way. My pain will no longer be used as a marketing tool. I must be careful with how this is told. I don’t want to glamorize what I did. I don’t want anyone thinking that signing a contract in blood and giving your soul to Satan is cool. I also don’t want my family ridiculed or mocked for my actions. I don’t want my grandchildren to continue to pay for my mistakes long after I’m gone. Most importantly, I don’t want anyone to ever go through what I went through. A painful, long drawn out and humiliating experience.
So, I may continue to consider offers to tell my side. I also may run for the hills and live in obscurity for the rest of my life. It’s in the lap of the Gods. One thing I will not do is continue to allow complete strangers to grill me on the subject. So if you approach me wanting to know about the haunting, don’t count on me to respond. The story is out there from the perspective of others. Watch the TV show, buy the book, read this blog, but if you see me in public don’t ask. I won’t answer.